Oprah patrol...that's right!

So... it's the Toronto International Film Festival and guess who's going to be there??? Well, everyone - including the love of my life....OPRAH! I won't be doing the lame thing by standing out with thousands by the red carpet, no. I'm going to do the creepy kind of fan thing and patrol the ritzy areas of where she could be going/staying. Just seeing her would be enough. I wouldn't even know what to say to her if I ever did meet her. Probably something cliche and lame like "I love you, you have changed my life and opened my mind to so many things! You're my idol, my hero, my one and only"... okay maybe too much...
I've been feeling so down, restless and agitated lately. I thought it was boredom at first but I then realized that I missed playing drums. It's been months since I've been able to sit down and play to MY music. I could always go to my folks place and practice but it's such a trek. I'm thinking of going to Rehearsal Factory someday and rent out a room to just practice for an hour. I was crying because I feel like a piece of my soul is slowly getting further from me. I can't go for a long time without a stage or playing. I haven't acted with other actors in sooo long. Acting and performing is a big part of who I am and I recently been feeling like I'm about to explode!
It's like a big ball of energy is inside me just waiting to get out... it's like I want to run laps around my apartment building and scream at the top of my lungs! I just have to get out there!!
I have an audition tomorrow (thank god) and I will use that as a chance to perform. As short as auditions are, I need those short moments to remind myself of why I'm doing this. Those little moments that I get to act give me such confidence and inner peace, it makes all the rejection and struggles worth it because once I do land something... it's going to be great! I could act all day every day!!
I also realized that Drums give me the same affect. I never thought drumming was a big part of me and who I was. I just saw drums as something to do when I'm bored. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder. I've been having the biggest urge to lock myself in a room for hours and just play till my hearts content! Someday soon I will. I need to. I have to. For my sanity!!