Here come the water works...

Okay, I want to write about my wonderful boyfriend so if you're not in the sappy mood I suggest you skip it or grab a barf bag or something.
I was hanging out with my sister last night and when I got home I just chilled out for a while and then my boyfriend came home. All the time when he comes home I get this sense of relief and joy! He makes the room feel so warm and everything makes sense. I fell asleep on the couch while we were watching t.v and he put me to bed. We lied down on the bed just starring into each others eyes. It's those moments that I live for. He makes me feel so relaxed and his essence calms me and I feel at peace. I get really uptight and hyper sometimes, it's so nice to have someone that balances you.
This morning I woke up and was wiiiide awake. I looked over and he was still sleeping (and looking sooo cute!!) and I gave him a little kiss on the neck before I got up and he put him arm around me. My first thought was, great now I'm stuck. But then I just melted into his arms and fell right back asleep. I love sleeping next to him because he usually reaches out for me while he's sleeping and holds me close. My days always start off perfect because of that small thing that means the world to me. I love his touch more than anything in this world. His small kisses, when he caresses my back, to when he opens his eyes and smiles are the moments that make me undertsand life more. With all the chaos I feel right now, it's so important that I embrace those intimate times I have with. The world stops and lets me have this moment to not think about anything but the happiness I feel with him. His voice is soo soothing too! His voice is like listening to a lullaby! The poor guy probably thinks I find him boring because I doose off, but he puts me into paradise mode!
I love that I can be myself and not worry about if I'm embarassing him, if it's bothering him. He loves every bit of me. He tolorates me when I'm a spazz and I worry, he loves it when I bang into doors!! (Side note: ever since I learned how to walk into walls or door without hurting yourself, I looove pretending I slammed into a wall or door. Scares some people or embarasses the people I'm walking with).
I just find myself so lucky to have a man that accepts me, respects me and basically GETS IT! Not many men understand what women want and I think he had an advantage since he was raised by a woman he got the inside scoop. He understands exactly what to do to make me feel special and wanted. He always shows he cares and he's there for me a thousand percent. I knew before we were even together that he was one hell of a man. A smart cookie too! There aren't many REAL men out there I find. Also, I noticed that men don't usually become men until their 30.
A man is someone who isn't afraid to take care of his girl and to show her his love everyday. He makes me feel like I'm on top of the earth, like I was meant to fly and he'll be right there beside me.
I love you baby! Thank you for helping me chill the fuck out!

Run!!

Have you ever felt like you just want to run away? I think everyone does. I just really want to get away from the city and just pick up and go somewhere. I guess I could max out my credit card, but I think given my current financial situation (aka I'm broke) I don't think it's going to happen.
I can imagine it though....mmmm the ocean wave sounds, the warm sand between my toes, the sensation of the sun giving me cancer...AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WHYYYYYYYY
I feel much better now.
I don't know about you, but I see babies everywhere! It's making me a little baby crazy at the moment it's scary! I don't want a baby anytime soon but seeing babies and pregnant women all over the place is making me want one. It's really bad propaganda trying to get me to procreate...yes, that's it! I'm seeing it all over t.v and movies. Also weddings! All I see on t.v is bride this, baby that. I have a live-in boyfriend who I love to bits that I plan on marrying but not anytime soon. First, we're young. Second, we're poor. Third, we both don't have our shit together. Well, at least I don't. We're both in the arts so it would be nice to get that somewhat on track before bringing in anything that will kill us! I can't even take care of my hair, I don't think I could take care of a baby. Oh god, look! I'm talking about having a baby! AAAHHH! I have vacation and baby fever!! Some slash water in my face!
Okay, I'm calm, I'm cool. I need a break.

Any jobs out there?

So I just had a fun filled week for job hunting. I had two interviews and no such luck. In a perfect world, I would work three nights a week serving, making decent cash and auditioning at least 3 times a week. My agent hasn't been very responsive to me coming in and seeing her. The last time I saw her was before Christmas break...YEAH! I have been trying forever to see her but no such luck. I haven't gotten many auditions lately either. Getting a little on edge. I'm trying to do as much as I can lately with making videos and putting them on youtube. Check out one video I did with my podcast group: wtfij
I'm 22 and no such luck in my field. Turns out stress as well as time isn't on my side. Being a 22 year-old actress in Hollywood is like being middle aged in "normal" land. I'm at my prime and have gotten nowhere. Honestly, I'm not too sure how much I'll like Hollywood if I ever do make it. I think I would just want to be one of those actors you always see in a bunch of films but never know who they are. If I could actually make a living as an actor for the rest of my life I would be the luckiest bitch ever.
I've been in a temporary band recently. I joined "League of Rock" (it's a cool organization for people that have day jobs but have always wanted to be in a rock band go. They get put into bands, rehearse for a few weeks and perform a few live shows and get recording time in a studio to record one of their songs. You should check it out, it's awesome!)
Anywho, my band (King James and Big Blues) are performing at Rock and Roll Heaven this Wed and it's the last time we'll be playing. It's kind of sad. I've never been in a band before and it was pretty intimidating being with such amazing musicians. I've only played drums with my dad (who's a drummer) and his jam buddies. I've been playing drums my whole life but just for shits and giggles. We just finished recording an original song our singer wrote (who is awesome) and it's not too band considering it was the first time we really played together as a whole band... yeah there was some drama but what's rock and roll without the drama?
So that's what I've been up to lately. A whole lot of nothing. I'm one of those people that thrives on being busy. I really love that feeling of having to be somewhere all the time. Sure, it's nice chilling at home now and then but after a while it starts to depress me. I've been sick lately so I'm just trying to stay relaxed so I don't go nuts. Stress makes me sick and being sick only slows me down and makes me feel icky.
I'm trying to exercise and eat better...the key word is "trying". I wouldn't mind the working out part, if I wasn't so poorly out of shape. I went jogging a few days ago and took about five flights of stairs up to my apartment and felt like my heart was going to explode! I think, if you're in good shape you can do more, you'll feel less like a chump. When I was a kid, I took tae kwon do for four years and almost made it to black belt but lost interest. I wish I had the same flexibility and awesomeness I had then. Now I'm just one of those beginner joggers that you can hear gasping for air ten feet behind you. I'm just waiting for that day where I can zoom by people and point and laugh at them as I pass by yelling, "later suckers!!! BAHAHAHAHAH" maybe not like that exactly... but you get my drift. I want to be in awesome shape so whenever I feel like climbing buildings or punching someone in the face, I can! It'll be so awesome... I'm also taking a stab at yoga. I tried it once and wanted to rip off my leg and beat the creepy instructor in the video with it. It's been some time and I do need to relax more and get some flexibility and whatever the benefits yoga does...
Here it goes!! I'm trying to get closer to the dream!! Watch out!!

Weeee!!!

Hello World!!

This is scary...I'm a virgin blogger and completely clueless when it comes to websites and computers, but I'm here and you are reading this...hey!
So what's new? Oh, I guess I just write and you read... got it.
Yeah...so I guess I should start by talking about myself...cool.
I am 22 years old, female...an actress to be more specific. I'm in the big city - well, one of the big cities (Toronto) and I'm just trying to get out there and make it. I haven't had much success due to the whole starving actor syndrome. I moved out of my folks place last year and that was a bit rocky... I lost my job as soon as I moved and that whole year I had probably more jobs than most people have had in their life. You name it, I did it. I had no shame, whatever paid the rent I did - and I didn't do anything illegal so you can take that out of your minds thanks.
All I've done lately is community theatre, sketch comedy, stand-up, student filmsand commercials. I'm still trying to figure out where I fit (I'm going towards comedy).
At the moment I'm just trying to put my hand into every cookie jar that's out there. I love writing almost as much as I love acting so I'm also pursuing that.
Anywho, stay tuned!