I'm toast... time to start all over again

I seriously screwed myself over. I didn't go to theatre school, I don't have a lot of experience under my belt (that's at least known), mostly every film project I did didn't give me a copy for a demo, I joined the union too early and now I completely screwed myself. No wonder I'm not getting any auditions! I'm now only getting submitted for union work where the casting directors are familiar with the actors. One look at my resume and they'll say, "what? She doesn't even have theatre school under her belt and is obviously an idiot for joining the union without any work." So now what? I see where I went wrong and a part of me wishes I could run away, cause making it here is sooo not going to happen (at least their way). I'm tired of being told how I'm supposed to do things (especially if it doesn't work for me). I'm going to do things my way and bring them to me instead of me being bitch slapped in the face by them constantly. Thank god I also write as well as act. I think going into comedy really saved me. I don't know what I'm going to write, but I'm going to put a show together and invite all the agents and casting directors to see what I can do. A big part of me really wishes I went to theatre school, but right now I'm already so behind there's no going back.
Don't get me wrong, the union could be very good for WORKING ACTORS but sucks if you're starting in the industry and you need all the work you can get. I lost out on so many great jobs because they were non-union and I hate that I joined so early that's all. I really need to get my shit together. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I just have to make sure that whatever I do, it has to be epic!